A first date does not have to be a candlelit dinner. In fact, for many of us it is easier and far more enjoyable to choose something simple and relaxed. If you have been out of the dating world for a long time, these ideas can help you feel at ease.
Why simple works best
A short, informal meeting means there is no pressure to perform. If you hit it off, you can stay longer. If not, you can politely leave after an hour without awkwardness. Keep it to a public place, in daylight, and arrange your own transport.
Coffee or afternoon tea
A cafe is the classic choice for good reason. It is quiet enough to talk, easy to find, and you can finish when you like. Choose somewhere you know so you feel comfortable, and arrive a few minutes early.
A walk in a park or by the water
Walking side by side takes away the intensity of sitting face to face. Conversation flows naturally as you look at the scenery, and you can stop for a drink halfway. Pick a well-used path and check the weather.
Visit a garden, museum or gallery
An outing with something to look at gives you plenty to talk about and fills any silences. It also shows you how the other person thinks and what they enjoy.
A garden centre, market or farm shop
These are underrated. You can browse, sample something tasty and chat about food, plants or crafts. They are relaxed, friendly and often have a cafe.
Lunch rather than dinner
If you would like a meal, lunch feels lighter than an evening dinner and finishes at a natural time. Choose a place that is not too noisy so you can hear each other.
Things to avoid
- Long journeys or anything that takes you far from home.
- Activities that need special skill or lots of energy.
- Very loud venues where you cannot talk.
- Drinking too much. A clear head helps you judge how you feel.
A few tips to enjoy the day
Dress comfortably in something that makes you feel like yourself. Plan an easy exit, such as a later appointment. Ask open questions and listen. Remember that the person opposite is probably just as nervous as you are.
Afterwards
Take a moment to reflect. If you enjoyed it, send a friendly message to say so. If you did not feel a connection, a kind and honest note is perfectly acceptable. Either way, you took a step, and that is worth celebrating.
